Growing || Looking Back and Leaning In

I've always felt a jab of pain whenever I get onto someone's blog and realize they haven't written for two years. I think, "Where'd they go?" and "What are they doing now?" And even though it's been two months instead of two years since I've written, and you probably didn't get a stab of pain missing a Grace Notes post...

Hello, everyone. I'm back.

And I think it could use up a whole post of its own to tell why I haven't posted since I shared a friend's photography back in October; but getting right down to it, I wasn't inspired to write. If a post was to be written, I wanted it to be worthwhile...and honestly, nothing was coming.

I've been looking back at 2018 and been given the chance to peer into other people's lives these past few months. The year began with two and a half months away from home, teaching character education in public schools--which has greatly impacted my life. Our family was visited by a missionary family to Mexico, and a family who recently adopted two sweet little girls. We have several friends who are fighting to serve our country or are soon to join the army. One of my sisters is involved in the same ministry I served with earlier this year (she may or may not have roped me into those two and a half months ☺).

I've also been looking into the new year. We've received news of at least six babies to be born (two of which have already entered the world ♥), two of our friends are engaged to be married soon, one of my sisters is graduating college this year, another sister is going to be gone for at least five or six months beginning this week, two of our cousins are graduating high school.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a hundred stories--the lives of those around me are like the YWAM missionary books I've been reading since I was seven years old...only these are just beginning. It's an exciting feeling!

So I find myself looking back as well as forward. I'm browsing through old pictures and personal journal entries from the past year, and I can't help but feel nostalgia as of my growing up years. I was a different person last year than I am today, which is good, but there's still a bit of missing things after they change.

New Year's Eve, just before midnight, someone asked the question: what word/Scripture do you have for the new year? Something to live out and remember in 2019. I chose "GROW", ironically. Ironic because of how I feel about change. But I'm beginning to realize that change is growth, and growth brings me to awe over what my God has wrought. I knew it before, but this past year I've lived it, and I don't want it to stop now.

Last year, a friend gave me a start of a plant, and she told me that when I watered it, to pray--to pray, "God, how can I enter Your will?" It began as one leaf, and as it grew another leaf, the original died. Yes, I realize. Something has to die before something is made new. And now eight more leaves have grown and another leaf has died. I know it's going to go on that way--one dying after giving life to the others--the life growing and multiplying because of the death of the first.

I want to grow. God wants us to grow. And God wants us to grow into His will.

Sometimes growth is painful (remember growth spurts when your knees and legs and feet hurt so much?)

Sometimes growth means dying to something--sometimes dying to something you thought you couldn't live without. But after all, you find that with God? You can.

Sometimes growth means understanding in a deeper way--a musical instrument, a math problem, a concept, a person.

Sometimes growth means looking back and knowing that God has brought you far. Then look ahead, because if He's brought you to here, He'll lead you until the end.

Sometimes to grow means to realize that you can't.

But He can.

Sometimes to grow means to realize that you aren't.

But He is.

Sometimes growth only comes through trials or through work, and sometimes the best growth is done while resting in Christ's Presence.

Sometimes growth is just leaning into God's grace.

So growth? It's my goal this year, and as such, you may be hearing more of it in upcoming posts...you've been warned. ☺ And I'd love to hear from you--what you are most looking forward to in the new year, or what you're learning, or a word or a Scripture you're going to carry with you through 2019? Or maybe just the best thing that happened in 2018?

Seeking Him,

Georgie Grace