The Disease SOME of Us Have || 4 Cures for Being *SHY* || How to Interact with People As An Introvert

*newsflash* I'm shy. And introverted. (why else would I have a blog? Just kidding, just kidding...)

Okay, seriously, though, it used to be bad. Like no-eye-contact-when-I'm-talking-to-you and stumbling-over-my-words kind of shy. It's a disease. At least it doesn't spread. (or does it? Sometimes silence induces universal awkward vibes...)

I used to look at people who seemed fairly confident in themselves and were decent conversationalists and wonder, “What would it be like if two people like that held a conversation?” In my mind's eye, it would be the epitome of excellence. I wondered if I'd ever see a conversation between two people who were confident and looked at each other in the eye and didn't stumble over their thoughts and didn't have to worry about what the other person thought of them, and, and...whatever. I wanted to see two people hold a perfect conversation. Weird, I know. (unless you've felt the same way, then please comment, so I know I'm not alone) And that was my dream for awhile, until I DREAMED A NEW DREAM.

I wanted to hold one of those conversations myself.

*cue dramatic music* DUN, DUN, DU-DUUUUN!

Sometimes this disease still acts up, but I think it's getting better. The other day on a plane ride home, I talked to somebody (woah, I actually spoke to someone? *pat on the back*) and I think I may have finally reached my dream. Okay, so the conversation wasn't PERFECT, but it was fun. I sat by a Chinese man named Felix who, it turns out, teaches college economics. (good for him) Since I've done a little teaching as well (not economics), we had a mutual connecting point. We talked about kids' home lives and how that effects their concentration, character, and performance skills later in life (I having observed this through teaching Pre-K through sixth graders, he with his college students.) It was a very intriguing conversation. I think I could do a whole post on this. Oh wait, I am...so back to what I was talking about.

FOUR CURES FOR THE DISEASE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO HOLD A GOOD CONVERSATION

(and the next post will be “FOUR CURES FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO COME UP WITH A GOOD TITLE”)

1. Forget yourself!

   Aha, aha, aha. Easier said than done, but still a good point for practice.
   I just finished reading a book called Failing Forward (by John C. Maxwell) in which the author said, “Get over yourself, because everyone else already has.” (or something like that) The point is, you don't have to worry about what people think about you. That's none of your business. As long as you're being kind and considerate and not throwing crude jokes & rude comments around, I think you're going to be okay. Don't trash talk people. Get interested in them, and people will notice your sincerity.
   
   Also. Having humility and courage goes a long way, peeps. If you are having a hard time with "forgetting yourself", it will make things a lot worse if you say how bad you are at talking to people and then prove it to them with shifting eyes and mumbling, etc. That's being self-conscious. Humility knows its own weaknesses and doesn't try to cover them up. Courage steps out despite discomfort.

2. Ask questions!

   This may be my favorite thing to think about nowadays. It takes just a little bit of thought, and you can come up with a lot of good questions. People love talking about themselves, and as one of my friends recently pointed out—people love talking about their favorite subject, their opinion. ☺ So get them talking, be a good listener, and that will be a good start to a great conversation.
   
   One way to come up with a good question is to draw from your surroundings, or from your victim's occupation.
   *if you're in an airport, ask where they're headed
   *if you see someone working on their computer, ask what they're working on (okay, try not to be snoopy, nor rude if it's obvious they're busy)
   *ask them what lead them to pursue such-and-such a profession
   *ask them what they find to be the most rewarding aspect of their profession
   I asked the guy on the plane some of these, and he chose economics because it combined two of his passions. He found it a rewarding profession, because he saw it as very practical for his students to use in their lives and in whatever step they were taking during or after college. Hmm. Cool dude.

3. Make eye contact!

   Yeah, man. That's what I'm talking about.Ahh!! But it's SO awkward!
   Do it anyway! It's polite!
   But it feels like they're boring right into my soul!
   Then bore back!
   *end internal debate*
   
   

   Eye contact is important. Even if you don't feel confident, just making eye contact produces an air of confidence. Seriously, try it. But for how long, you may well ask? I've heard about 3-4 seconds at a time is sufficient. Take a little break. Another 3-4 seconds. Take another little break. Watch people....they do this....

4. Pray!

   This will help more than anything. Just ask God to help you know what to say, ask for opportunities to share His light, ask Him to help you think of good questions to ask...and, He will. ☺

~~~~~

Was this helpful? Have you tried any of these before, or have any to add? Enlighten us all in the comments, please! ☺

Blessings & Love & a Dash of Wackiness,

Georgie Grace

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. -Colossians 4:6